55 Things Your Dog Would Say if it Could Talk

Most pet parents are always (or at least occasionally) talking to their pups. But have you ever thought what your dog would have said in return if it could talk? Surely, it would have said some really funny and, of course, emotional things in response to all what you say to your canine best friend.

Here is a list of 55 top things your pooch would say to you if it could talk.

When it Would Want Some Outdoor Adventure

1. “Aren’t we going for a walk today?”
2. “Get up and take me outside! I won’t say that twice.”
3. “What! You are still sleeping. It’s raining outside. Get up and have some fun outdoors.”
4. “I know it’s cold, but I still need some walk. Get your ass moving, you lazy bum.”
5. “What! You think I should wear this sweater? You want me to look an idiot?”
6. And on the way back, it would be like, “Don’t you know it is cold. Get that snow off my fur, I am freezing my ass off.”
7. “Throw the ball, and I will tell you how fast I can bring it back.”

When Your Pup Would Want Food and Water

8. “What is for dinner today? Same old dry kibbles. Why don’t you put your cooking skills to some use for me!”
9. “Why do I get such little food? I am still hungry!”
10. “You, me, peanut butter! Heaven!”
11. “You have stocked so much dog food, and I still get to eat twice only! Who is going to eat all of this? You?”
12. “You are going to have bacon for breakfast? I know it’s bacon, I can smell it, and I want it.”
13. “Yes, there was no water in the bowl, so I drank from the toilet! Is that your bathroom? It’s pretty awesome.”
14. “Can’t you see I am panting! I need water, and the bowl is downstairs. I am not going to get it. I am going to die.”
15. “Snapping at me for being rude? Excuse me, “I am hungry,” When was the last time you filled my bowl?”
16. “You are late again. It is way past my dinner time.”
17. “Preparing for a day trip? Where are my snacks?”
18. “Sorry I threw up. What did you feed me last night? I still feel sick in my stomach.”

During Some Indoor Play

19. “Yes, I want to play, but I hate this cone.”
20. “Why you keep giving me this toilet paper? Can’t you get some decent toys for me?”
21. “You tricked me again? I can still find out where you are hiding.”
22. “Yes, we are playing, but please don’t call me by these silly names. I love my name.”
23. “I want to play with you! Not with your tablet.”
24. “Ok, I know you are stuck with me indoors, but can we please stop playing. I am tired now.”
25. “I know I have to clean up after the game! I don’t want to play anymore.”

Other Needs

26. “There is a bitch next door, and I kinda have a crush on her. Let’s go for a walk with our neighbors.”
27. “Yes, I chew everything! I am teething. What do your kids do when they have the same problem?”
28. “You pee in your house, right? Why you don’t let me do that!”
29. “What Snapchat? Me? I, too, have some privacy, don’t go sharing my story in public.”
30. “No photos on Instagram today. I look plump.”
31. “I am not very social. Don’t expect to love all the strangers you bring in the house over the weekend.”
32. “You invited your friend’s dog along? I don’t like when you call in other dogs at home.”
33. “I don’t want to wake up this early. I was up late last night!”
34. “A run again! I don’t feel like running. My legs are shorter than yours.”
35. “Long drives make me sick, don’t you get that.”
36. “I can make a mess in your home, but I choose not to. Now say Thank you.”

When You Have Other Priorities

37. “I know I am a little too grown-up, but I still want some lap time.”
38. “Your digital distraction kind of hurts. Give me some attention, please!”
39. “What, you are watching that stupid show again? Please don’t cry this time. Please!”
40. “You are so close to me in photographs. What about other times?”
41. “You brought me to this home. Now take care of me! You go out for too long.”

In Response to COVID-19

42. “Why do you clean me like this after every walk? I won’t get you infected!”
43. “Why do you have to me wash me so often! I hate getting wet, and it’s winter.”
44. “I know 2020 was stressful, and it’s all about COVID-19, but I am still a part of it, and I need some fun.”
45. “Oh, so you are planning holidays this year again? What about me this time? I am not going to stay at home. I need a break!”
46. “Maintain distance! What distance? I still need a hug!”
47. “Why do your friends still come over and keep touching me? Don’t they know the COVID safety guidelines?”

When it Wants to Express Love

48. “Yes, I wait for you all day because I love you.”
49. “I love you and expect the same in return.”
50. “Love me a little more. I am only here for a few years.”
51. “I am sorry I don’t meet your expectations all the time. But I am still a kid, teach me the right stuff.”
52. “Next time you think of snapping at me. Think again. I won’t forget it.”
53. “I know you are going to miss me when I am no more.”
54. “It’s dark and cold outside, please don’t leave me alone. I am your best friend.”
55. “No matter where life takes us, I will still love you.”

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by Bobby J Davidson || You can’t buy love, but you can rescue it™ . 

Facts About Animal Homelessness:

1. Only 1 out of every 10 dogs born will find a permanent home.
2. The main reasons animals are in shelters: owners give them up, or animal control finds them on the street.
3. Each year, approximately 2.7 million dogs and cats are killed every year because shelters are too full and there aren’t enough adoptive homes. Act as a publicist for your local shelter so pets can find homes. Sign up for Shelter Pet PR.
4. Approximately 7.6 million companion animals enter animal shelters nationwide every year. Of those, approximately 3.9 million are dogs and 3.4 million are cats.
5. According to the National Council on Pet Population Study and Policy (NCPPSP), less than 2% of cats and only 15 to 20% of dogs are returned to their owners.
6. 25% of dogs that enter local shelters are purebred
7. About twice as many animals enter shelters as strays compared to the number that are relinquished by their owners.
8. It’s impossible to determine how many stray dogs and cats live in the United States. Estimates for cats alone range up to 70 million.
9. Only 10% of the animals received by shelters have been spayed or neutered. Overpopulation, due to owners letting their pets accidentally or intentionally reproduce, sees millions of these “excess” animals killed annually.
10. Many strays are lost pets that were not kept properly indoors or provided with identification.
11. According to The Humane Society, there are about 3,500 brick-and-mortar animal shelters in the US and 10,000 rescue groups and animal sanctuaries in North America.

Here are a some adoptions for consideration:  puccicafe.com/adoptions